So the Doggie Dictator came to see us. If you don't know what this is all about I wrote about it last time: Charley says #3: Butter wouldn't melt. The DD was one tough nut. I barked at her to try to make her go away but she wasn’t having any of it. She stayed for four hours and she says she’s coming back again.
I am working on a plan with Ninja to make it very hard for her because it seems the plan is for the humans to become mini doggie dictators. They keep saying this is not true, that they just want to learn how to make sure we're happy all the time. Well, I think it's all a cover for becoming DDs. The actual DD hates that I call her the Doggie Dictator and she says she's going to make me change my mind about the dictator bit.
According to the DD I lack self-control. I think that’s a bit harsh. I have plenty of self-control but I choose not to exercise it very often. Like when the DD put her plate at the edge of the desk with a lovely slice of lemon crunch cake on it. I mean, come on, that’s just fair game right? I so nearly got my chops on the cake but the DD was too quick. That was not a good sign.
Anyway, the DD gave the humans some exercises to work on with us. Starting with … learning to exercise self-control.
We're doing a very simple exercise to ease us in apparently and it involves me not looking at, sniffing, lunging at, or snatching food in the human’s hand. If I ignore the food and look at her eyes instead then I get the treat. It’s dead easy, I got it in seconds. The humans are supposed to make it harder by making the treats more yummy over time. Still a doddle. Having met the Doggie Dictator I suspect this is only the beginning though.
And the humans are under strict instructions to go back to basics on name control. This is a little loophole that we've been exploiting forever but the DD is putting a stop to it. This woman is trouble!
When we’re at home or in the office and the humans call one of us, we all go running over. And usually we all get a treat or a cuddle. Well not any more because the Doggie Dictator says that if we all answer to four different names then things are going to be complicated.
And to make things even more fun, as well as answering to Charley, I also answer to "Chunky", "Monkey", "Chunky Monkey" and "Chunky Charley". I also have a Chinese name that Granny Chau uses - she calls me 'Heffalump' because I'm bigger than all the others.
I digress. Back to the Doggie Dictator and making sure we only answer to our proper names. From now on, when the humans call one of us, only the one who's name is called gets the treat or the cuddle. This is spoil sport antics as far as I am concerned. Surely it's only right that when Anna, Tino or Theo get a treat that I get one too!!!
Anyway, the DD wrote a big report and it looks like the humans mean serious business because they keep reading it and shaking their heads. The DD is coming back next week. I am going to lull her into a false sense of security and show her how good I am at ALL the exercises and maybe she will never come back again. I live in hope ...